Saturday, I

feel scared but act brave

forget my dreams

make breakfast for the kids

wash the dishes in someone else’s house

go for a windy walk

light a cigarette

read about making love to God for a while

realize that I am not enlightened

breathe in

reach out to someone

feel useless to someone else

call 911

make lunch for the kids

wash the dishes again

give in but don’t give up

put the baby down for a nap

breathe out

light another cigarette

call my sister

scroll facebook in vain

lie down on the floor

feel my body

feel lost

play with the kids

buy a cheap bottle of wine

drink some

make dinner

feel scared and act scared

cry

tell the truth about how ignorant I am

cry some more

call my sister again

stop crying and comfort my daughter

pack and wash dishes again

move to yet another house that is not my own

feel safe

put the kids to sleep

drink the rest of the wine

try to write a poem

can’t

try again

still can’t

bite a nail

just write about my day

even if I fail

there’s beauty in it anyway.