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Saturday, September 23, 2017

My hands won't bleed

My darling,
It is difficult for me to soothe you today.
As much as I wish to find the right words, the right gestures, I feel powerless outside your cage.
I reach between the bars and stroke your neck and elbow. I feel the tension in your body as if it were mine.
Let me carry this weight for you.
You may trust me with your intentions, with your fears, with your exquisite gifts.
Do not get me wrong.
I do not intend to save you.
I see how you deem yourself captive, yet I also see in you the power to set yourself free.
The gate is always open and I have been standing here in the doorway since the beginning of time.
I hear you calling out for me, looking for the great escape.
‘Save me’, you say.
‘Take me away’, you yearn.
‘Shine your light on me’, you sing.
‘Light the fire in me’, you instigate.

How can I explain this to you in plain words?
I am not the poet you are.
I am only a man.
I am your man.
There is no ‘away’.
There is only ‘here’.
And here is where I stand, naked in the spot light, with all of my own betrayals weighing me down.
The fear of generations.
I am calling out to you, see me as I am.
Allow me in.
Let me steer the wind for you.
Make space for me in your heart.
Accept my humble compliments of your majesty and beauty.
Accept them without humility or pride.
See yourself through my eyes.
You are for me the sum of all women.
Woman of Grace, hold my gaze in your light.
Woman of Wisdom, speak to me with your voice.
Woman of Peace, forgive my forefathers cruelty.
Woman of Ecstasy, touch me with the essence of you.
You are not my mother, so do no attempt to mother me.
Nor am I your father, so do not seek solace in my attention.

Let us acknowledge each other for who we are.
Let us see each other, hear each other, feel each other and taste one another until the boundaries between us fade.
Let us melt in communion until words fail to provide meaning for who we were.

So, when we return to the world, the illusion of our cages and burdens will also fade away.
When we return, we will carry each other’s heart within our own without binding one another to any cage.
When we return, the world shall have already changed to shelter our love.
We already carry the seed of that world.
I promise you to never let you forget.
That is my gift to you, my darling.

In the meantime, I will stand here, outside your cage and reach out to you.
For when I touch your shoulder blades, my hands wont bleed.

They will rejoice.

Friday, September 22, 2017

You are welcome

If I were your home and you came back to me,
I would hold the space around
you with all the fragrances and colors
that make your eyes shine
and your arms soften.

I would open my doors for you
and crack my windows open
so the air would awaken your skin.

I would squeak my floors under your steps
so your feet would hear their own music.

I would sit you down on my lap
so your body may curl
and remember safety.

I would shower you with my warm waters
and quench your thirst with my cold waters.

I would offer you my walls and handles to lean on
and my soft pillows to foster your dreams when you sleep.

I would reveal my hidden corners to you
to keep your secrets
and light a fire in my heart
to cook your soup when your are hungry.

I would make the rooms for the things that you do
and keep your time and your silence.

If I were your home and you came back to me ,
I would whisper to you, over and over:
Welcome home, my darling,

Welcome home.

*To Kasia, for teaching me that opening my home is opening my heart