A house is not a home

I wasn’t born here, not really,

But I was reborn here time and time again.

There was this one morning, the first morning,

When I woke up and gave birth to my first child

And a mother was also born

Into this house.

There was another morning, a cold morning

When I woke up and  felt this yearning

To paint

And an artist was born

Into this house.

One night, a clear night on a full moon,

I opened the window and howled at the moon

And a wild woman was born

Into this house.

One other night, I woke up from this amazing dream

That urged me to listen to my soul

And a dreamer was born

Into this house.

On day I heard a song and it moved me

It moved me so deep that I started to dance

And a dancer was born

Into this house.

This was my home.

I won’t die here, not really,

But surely I died here, more than once.

There was this one morning

When I woke up paralyzed,

Drenched in sorrow, stuck, empty

I laid down on the bathroom floor

And a victim died.

Into this house.

On another morning I woke up alone

I felt discouraged, abandoned, and deeply hurt

A lonely wife surrendered her love

Into this house.

One night I got so frightened

That I regressed to my mother’s womb

Dark and moist, numb and helpless

And a child passed away

Into this house.

With it’s river of births and deaths

Carved into it’s walls and floors,

Into it’s corners and doors,

This house has lived inside of me

As much as I have lived inside of it.

It has given me shelter, love and inspiration

Rocked me to sleep,

Whispered lullabies to my weary children

Poured it’s song of stone and wood into my heart

Incubated my dreams and hatched my wounds.

This house taught me to belong.

To belong to my home, to my family,

To belong to my dreams, to my ideals,

To belong to my land, to this earth,

But, above of all, to belong to myself.

Yet this house does not belong to me

Nor does this land, this earth, these people.

I weep as I receive my final lesson,

The one of letting go.

For it is now the time to let it go

To retrieve the pieces of soul

Hidden in it’s every corner

It is time to build another home,

This time a home inside of me,

A home that I will carry with me

Wherever I go.

I am so grateful.