Have I ever?

Have I ever allowed myself to surrender

To feel pleasure and bliss within every cell of my body?

Have I ever opened my heart so wide

To melt away all of my fears and bitterness carefully stored and restored?

Have I ever told myself the truth

About my weakness, my boundaries, my anger?

Have I ever really seen myself

Beyond the reflection of what you see in me?

Have I ever held you so close to me

That you could see inside of me and inhabit my core?

Have I ever shown you my essence

To pour in your heart my sweet nectar of love for no stake at all?

Have I ever faced the darkest part of me,

The assailer in my psyche, the stalker of beauty and light?

Have I ever dared to stick a knife in his chest

To watch him bleed out his poison and burry him back to the ground?

Have I ever sang my song out loud,

Write it, paint it, dance it, drum it, dream it out into reality?

Have I ever told my bigger and braver story,

The one about the strong and beautiful woman who rose from her own ashes?

I may have, on some occasions, stumbled upon myself

Tripped into knowingness, bled my heart wide open.

I may have fallen down in despair at times

Only to find a glimpse of truth on the bottom of the pit.

But I have always, always requested of you to reflect my beauty

The same one I could never see on purpose.

I have asked of you to love me unconditionally

To never leave, to offer pleasure, to embrace my dark, to see my light.

How have I ever been so blinded by my own hypocrisy,

To ask of you that which I could not offer in return?

There is peace in knowing that it is not who I am, but the woman I used to be

She did the best she could and she deserves my love and gratitude.

And so do you.

Thank you.